Is there someone out there for me to love? Of course there is. There are several. Hundreds. Millions. No, I haven’t hit any stellar romantic relationships yet, but don’t take that as a sign that I won’t. There are a lot of people out there, and I’ve met so few of them. I’m only now getting the chance to live in the communities that interest me; I’m only now meeting people as passionate about my interests as I am. I’ve known so many wonderful people who weren’t quite right, romantically, and gotten some magical friendships out of the deal. I’ve fallen for a few people, and a few people have fallen for me, and it’s just chance that those two categories have not yet synced - now, in the worlds I inhabit, my chance for romantic success is higher than ever. Come and woo me.
you are just too depressing for me right now. I think you have always had a bad influence on my moods, but now I recognize it better.
I also recognize that feeling bad about my exposure to the world is a result of the awful things in the world, and that I still have a duty to stay informed and active in the [social justice] issues that concern me.
So I wonder, how do other people deal with the ‘problem’ of awareness?
Is it possible to be transgender without being transsexual?
Yes. So many people present as a gender that was not the one assigned at birth with no intent to pursue sex change measures. This is a fairly common state of being.
Is it possible to be transsexual without being transgender?
I hadn’t thought about it until I encountered this question for myself. Yes, my quality of life would skyrocket if I could somehow exchange my body for one with a prostrate. But do I really want to take on the label of “man”?
Nope, it’s not for me. I thought it was and got all confused and I guess that studying abroad really does help people sort out their heads.
So, yes, I’m trans*. No, I’m not currently identifying as a man. My preferred pronouns are ze, hir, hirs. Thanks for your respect and decent person-ness.
So instead, have my love and a picture of a lemur that I took.
[Image: a lemur.]
The average life span of a transgendered person is twenty-three years. The statistic is shocking, until it begins to make sense. Gender non-conformists face routine exclusion and violence. Transgendered people are disproportionately poor, homeless, and incarcerated. Many of the systems and facilities intended to help low-income people are sex-segregated and thereby alienate those who don’t comply with state-imposed categories. A trans woman may not be able to secure a bed in a homeless shelter, for example. Spade writes that just as the feminist movement tended to “focus on gender-universalized white women’s experience as ‘women’s experience,’” the lesbian- and gay-rights movement has focused primarily on a white, middle-class politic, centered on marriage and mainstream social mores."
Dean Spade is the first openly trans law professor. Meaghan Winter interviews him for Granta.
FUCKING READ THIS SHIT. NEXT TIME ANYONE THINKS IT’S OKAY TO RAG ON TRANS* PEOPLE (BECAUSE LOLOL THEIR EXISTENCE IS JUST SO FUNNY, ISN’T IT FUNNY THAT SOME PEOPLE AREN’T EXACTLY LIKE ME), I AM GOING TO PRINT THIS QUOTE OUT AND STAPLE IT TO THE ASSHOLE’S FOREHEAD. Fucking read this shit and think hard, think as hard as you can, about how tragic this is. Your tittering and joking and mocking and bullying — which is, painfully obviously, motivated by an indoctrinated discomfort that you are too ignorant or complacent to question the morality of — is what facilitates violence against the trans* community. No, you don’t have to personally pull the trigger, or raise your fist, or deny care and shelter.
All you have to do is systematically dehumanize. All you have to do is deny the weight of your words and the pedestal of your privilege, ignore the suffering that you can conveniently shrug off after an insensitive SNL skit or forum post because what does it matter to me if these people are dying?
If you are not foaming-at-the-mouth angry right now, read that first sentence again (unless you’d like to protect your blood pressure, in which case have a soothing non-invasive hug from me right now).
I feel like it’s something of a surprise I made it to 19. This stat doesn’t shock me at all as a gender-variant person.
23 feels like a long fucking way away, and if I’m not around for it because this is a really fucking difficult life, even with the immense privileges I hold as white and (previously) middle class. There are so many days where I am just waiting for it to all snap and for me to end up without any form of support.